I do photography. I hesitate to say “I am a photographer” because I think in the grand scope of this art, I have a looooooooooooooooong way to go before I can claim to be/do/own anything remotely professional. Regardless, I love to do it. I have invested a ridiculous amount of time, money, and love in my kit, and I don’t see that ending anytime soon.
For a while photography was my way to get away from my health problems. Whether it was my fight against cancer, or my fight against my own body as Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome breaks me down and beats me into submission, photography was (and is) where I’d go to get out of my own head and my own body (“meatcage,” as a few other EDSers call it). Photography was my time to center myself in the world around me and realize that, no matter how bad things seem, and no matter how sick I feel, the world is a big place and full of beauty. So, when things got bad to the point where I felt myself breaking, I’d take my kit and I’d hit the road/mountain/garden/whatever and suddenly everything would seem better somehow. I might be breaking/broken/sick/fighting/exhausted/something else, but damn it, the world is amazing and no matter how sick I feel, that can’t be taken away from me.
So, photography is an important part of my life. I have four lenses, and my macro lens is my favorite (followed closely by my wide angle). I love how my macro lens makes me focus on the small details in the world around me. It makes me really stop and look at something differently. I love the challenge of taking something I see all the time, and make it interesting and impossible to overlook, and then I have the power to capture that interesting yet mundane thing, and keep it forever.
Am I a professional? No, but photography gives me the godlike power to keep a slice of the world frozen in time forever. It centers me. It forces me to really see the world around me, and I love it for that gift.
But I’m not perfect.
Chuck Wendig does something called Macro Monday and I love that idea, so I’m piggybacking a bit. At first I hemmed and hawed over this, thinking this is a SpecFic review website, why should I do anything else? Then I decided, you know screw it. This is my website, so I can do what I want here.
Therefore, I’m going to start doing Macro Mondays. Maybe they’ll always be macro photos. Maybe I’ll break the rules and put other photos up. Maybe they’ll be good. Maybe they’ll suck. Maybe I’ll add commentary and maybe I won’t. Does it matter? I am more than just books and reading, and sometimes it’s good to remember that.
For my first Macro Monday, I’m going to post these photos I took of a Saturnii moth (I think) that I took today. This guy was guarding my front door all day, sleeping or doing whatever it is that nocturnal flying critters do during the day. I should add that I am damn proud that I took these photos. I am terrified of bugs. Not afraid, but terrified. That’s not an exaggeration. They scare the holy living hell out of me, but he was huge and beautiful and he wasn’t moving. I made sure I had an exit plan, and I didn’t touch or disturb him, and managed to get these photos. Once I loaded them, I realized that he is a lot more beautiful (and fuzzy) than I realized. He is quite beautiful.
So here he is: the moth that kept anyone from coming to my front door today (and for that alone I loved him).